Two steps backward...

Maybe this time, I'll be lucky...

I know that fate has its own course, and somehow, sometime, it will lead us to that point of no return: success. But is there such a thing as being at the right place at the wrong time when it comes to this life phenomenon?

Just a few days back, I've been rejoicing like there's no tomorrow. That gleeful feeling of triumph over winning the Quidditch Cup is so similar to what I've been experiencing inside. I knew then that I'll be waking up from a terrible nightmare in just a few days...

The dream. That dream. It's so close, yet—just a couple of hours ago—it's so far once again. To be honest, I'm still hoping for the best. God will provide what's best for me. No buts, no ifs, even if I want to. All I know now is that I'm very, very down emotionally but my spirit is still soaring like the Golden Snitch.

Fate is indeed full of surprises, a collective experience of downfalls and joys. Maybe I'm just at the wrong place at the right time? Honestly, I'm convinced that I am.

Not a loser anymore, like the last time, and the time before...

The Verdict (Howler sent...)

Don't stop believing...

At last, after weeks of contemplation, anxiety and excitement, the Howler has been sent. Though there's still a few needed tweaks, at least it's already been given to the Ministress of [Dark] Magic (duh?).

Who would've thought that I would be an Auror this quick?! This is indeed a dream come true. And for that, I thank everyone who prayed for me. Finally, the path is clear: nothing's been wasted; I'm illuminated with the brightest future so far; and of course, the dreaded final step paid off.

Honestly, I can't wait for that very day. I want to start fresh. I want to embrace bliss. I want to own the dream.

Oh, I just did...

Don't stop believing...

The last step...

That one last, final step I've been dreading to commit has been done.

I dared myself and I feel good about it. I remember this feeling, it's like when we've finally learned the only way to destroy the Dark Lord; it's as if the very last Horcrux has been captured and crushed into pieces. Funny, it sounds violent but trust me, it's worth it.

The NEWTs questionnaires were a bit harder than I've expected. Though a bit shocked, I still put my best foot forward. Grace under pressure, grace even in battle.

What motivates you to become an Auror?
My mom. Since she gave her best to raise me, I want to repay her. I want to give her everything because I love her: I'm a proud Mama's Boy.

What for you is Good Muggle Service?
Good Muggle Service is meeting the deadline and presenting a flawless output. But the "Best Muggle Service" is meeting the deadline and presenting a flawless output without compromising both parties' creative thoughts—it's a win-win situation.

When was the last time you got furious and what did you do about it?
The last was when I was given wrong instructions for a job and I almost screwed it. The Muggle client was pushy, but I managed to handle the situation. Though furious, I talked to my Prefect about it calmly, and when the break time came, I just ate a big slice of cake—treacle tart—since I have a thing for sweets.

NEWTs' results will be finalized anytime within this week. I hope the Lord will still help me push through to finally conquer this.

It has been done. This is my final step.

Two steps forward...

Finally, I'm seeing a bright light. And no, I'm not afraid of it; I'm enthralled with its promise of reasonable challenges and never-ending bliss.

Three hard-hitting questions, three honest answers:

I was asked, would you sacrifice galleons with career? I said YES. We all need to sacrifice at one point or another in our lives and with this bold move, I know I'm sacrificing yet again, but I'm sure it will all be worth it.

I was asked, how would you handle difficult and uncooperative Muggles? For the former I said, we can always come up with a win-win solution by meeting halfway; for the latter, good communication in the first place is always the greatest framework for a team effort. I strongly believe that everything can be achieved successfully with proper communication.

I was asked, are you ready to face this new world as an Auror? I said YES. I have been dreaming of this since I was in college, and I know I'm now ready to succeed in this field.

By next week, I will take the NEWTs. I hope the Lord will still be in favor of me.

The bright light is closer: I'm still not afraid, I'm still enthralled with its promise. This is my two steps forward...

Journal Entry #1

Dear Journal,

Gloomy days are here once again thanks to these ever beloved DeMentors [Demented Mentors(?)] who never fails to ruin every good thing that's happening. Spare me some Felix Felicis, I think I might have to drink plenty starting now. Is this the right time to send the Howler again? If I remember it right, the last time I sent one was last year. Honestly, that idea has crossed my mind this morning; the Howler would end all this mess. But I'm giving them until... perhaps this weekend to clean this all up. As I quote one of the DeMentors: "I'm sick and tired of blah, blah, blah..."

I know everyone has their inner stupidity attached to them. Though it's a shame, some of us really don't know how to control it. So here's the thing, don't infect those who are celebrating life's positivity! We don't need pathetic and inexcusable reasons of why this should be that and those to be whatevs! Go ahead and number our heads from 1 to 5, but please don't suck all the happy things and thoughts we've been having because yes, WE deserve them. And if I say WE, I really mean WE—and that doesn't include any of you of course.

Thank goodness I am only tempted of cursing you all. But if I could, I would: one by one, I will tear you down. I will make sure that you will fear me and my presence would haunt you even in your sleep. Lucky you, I can't afford to loose my sanity and do all these...

Conquering the dream...

It's been two years, did I waste my chances?

Gone are the days where I can just simply sit comfortably in a corner and watch the clouds fade in and out of sight. If I am to assess myself based on where I am right now, I'd say I'm stuck; on where I've been to, I'd say it wasn't enough; and on where I plan to be 5–10 years from now, I'd say living my dream. Funny, yes, but I still dream the same dream for years. The downside was, it felt like it's been slipping away from my supposed and pretentious tight grip... and just today, I fought back—I tried to hold that string of hope once more.

My usual morning sickness-cum-routine welcomed my day, but there's something different about it: I had smirk on my lips and fire in my eyes. You ask why? For this is the day I've been dreading for years! As what they say, put your eyes on the prize; but today for me it was put your effin' 112% for this chance of reaching the dream.

Smoke, sweat, noise, travel time and heavy traffic didn't hinder me and my vested-ensemble-of-a-sharp-look to conquer Pasig City. My dream lies there, my dream is there...

And now as I start to count the days and contemplate whether my ala-beauty pageant answer was enough, I'll stay positive. No, I won't sit comfortably in a corner just to watch clouds fade in and out once more but I'll happily and wholeheartedly thank the Lord for this opportunity and ask His humble guidance.

So did I waste another chance? I don't think so.

SPOTTED [2]

SPOTTED.
History repeating itself, again and again.
Is it just me, or is Lonely Boy being punished by the Almighty?
A different hunger struck him late this lunch, and I heard he struggled to keep his appetite.
Oh c'mon, who could even resist that—I admit I couldn't and WOULDN'T either.
To taste it again? Hell Y-E-S.
Just learn to play your cards well Lonely Boy...
And don't forget to wash your hands after, germs are everywhere.

xoxo
GossipGuy

SPOTTED [1]

SPOTTED.
Lonely Boy chasing after a big(?) dream.
Is it true he got lost, as in literally?
I heard there was a loud surprise, and a flashback.
Looks like this has been a very tiring but not a rewarding day for him at all.
Careful Lonely Boy, don't bite more than you could chew—suck it up.
Remember: Never ever, ever loose hope.

xoxo
GossipGuy

I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good

Funny how time flies…

I’ve hibernated for over a year, and going back to one of my “first loves” makes me feel somewhat happier. Don’t get me wrong, but honestly, I missed doing this—I missed this a lot. After months of contemplating whether I should blog again or not, here I am now, caressing the tiny buttons of the keyboard and making love with my thoughts to finally express again that one-liner I’ve been proud to say ever since: I love writing.

They say you can never put a good man down. Well they’re right: I’m not good enough, so no one will ever bother to put me down. Except of course for those who are indeed envious of who I am and what I am. But let me clear just one thing, I’m not here again to simply conform with your so-called norms; I’m back because I want to, I’m back because I need to.

From this day forward, expect nothing but… just figure that out.